09: LIFE’S UNEXPECTED TURNS
Navigating Grief with T.A.C.T.: A Light-Hearted Guide
Hey, hey! It's your friend Janine Driver here, from “In the DRIVER’S Seat: Your Fun-Sized (and Unfiltered) Guide to Decoding Body Language & Nudging Human Behavior.
Let me tell you, I've got a story that's part devastation, part joy, and 100% real life.
Picture this: It's noon on a Saturday, and there's a mom still in bed, not because she's lazy, but because life just threw a curveball. Her phone is her lifeline to her best friend, who's just lost her 49-year old brother unexpectedly. Tragic, right? But here's the twist: in the midst of grief, they're finding reasons to laugh, to be inspired.
Meanwhile, downstairs, this mom’s three sons are probably wondering if breakfast is a DIY concept today. And just when you think it can't get more real, the youngest, Jack, who is 9, but he’s the height of an average 14-year old boy, yells up stairs, in an urgent tone of voice, “Mommmmmm, I NEED NEW SHOES!”
Life doesn't pause, folks!
Guess who the mom in this story is?
That's right, that crazy bitch is me! Just an hour and a half ago, I finished a call with my college roommate, Dr. Dominique LaFortune, affectionately known as Dodo. We're like sisters, really. She's a pharmacist in Boston, while I'm based here in Alexandria, Virginia.
Oh, and get this – it's now 1:51 pm, and I'm furiously typing out this article with one hand (on my iPhone - still in bed), while my youngest is staging a mini-protest for homemade chocolate chip pancakes and new shoes. Seriously, I'm multitasking like a circus juggler here. Kids and their impeccable timing, right? (Shaking my head in amusement!) 🥞👟🤹♀️
Why Am I Sharing This Story With You
I'm sharing this story with you today because it reflects the real, sometimes messy journey of life that we all navigate. It's a tale of friendship, resilience, and the complexities of handling grief while juggling the everyday demands of being a parent and a friend.
Through this story, I hope to offer a glimpse into the raw, authentic experiences we face and to provide some practical, heartfelt advice on how to support those we love through their toughest times. It's about staying connected, finding humor even in hardship, and learning from each other's experiences.
In this whirlwind, we've all been there - trying to navigate conversations with a grieving friend. It's not easy, but I've got a light-hearted approach that may help you out one day (hopefully no time soon).
Introducing the T.A.C.T. Approach
T.A.C.T. stands for Tell, About, Coping, and Thoughts. It's all about guiding your conversations with empathy and understanding.
Tell (Memories): “Can you share some favorite memories of your loved one?" This opens the door to positive reflections and celebrates their life.
About (Specifics): “Would you like to talk about anything specific regarding your loved one or your experience?" This question gives space for personalized stories and individual feelings.
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